12.06.2005
renewed? haha

hahaha.. joke ;p.. im still working on it.. asus.. haha

hahaha.. just came from an overnight retreat in tagaytay.. it was fun... and it was a great retreat.. I realized a lot of things about my self.. my life.. the people I could never forgive (haha.. well.. for now).. and of course.. my GOD..:).. yesternight (haha).. we all cried (except kit and fides).. we were asked kasi to blindfold ourselves and think about the person who had hurt us most.. then imagine Jesus sitting beside us, hugging us, telling us what he wants us to do and what we want Him to do for us.. aww.. it really felt good to release all the tears and pain again.. after that we all hugged one another.. ;).. aww.. I realized that.. I don’t know. why im like this.. I cant easily forgive a person.. I know its bad.. that’s why I asked for help in forgiving.. this morning naman.. we were asked to write some thing like “*blank*, I am angry at you because…..” after that.. we were told to change the “am angry at” to “appreciate”. Hah. Could you imagine our reactions.. haha.. kadiri.. then we were told naman to change the you’s to I/me .. so it was like this..

1. blank, I am angry at you because you said bad stuff about me
2. blank, I APPRECIATE you because you said bad stuff about me (duh)
3. I said bad stuff about you

there.. see.. DISGUSTING right?.. haha.. of course im right.. haha.. joke.. but its true naman eh.. why would you appreciate someone who did a certain mean thing to you and make yourself look BAD pa.. haha.. though I ADMIT it is an effective way of learning to forgive someone.. but in this case.. NOT to me.. haha.. because.. I didn’t do naman to the person what that person did to me.. haha.. right now, I still feel bad about the incident though its almost a year na.. haha.. she CUT me deep.. haha.. CUT me deep.. ;p but of course, im still hoping that I would be able to totally forgive the person and forget whatever emotion I felt that time.. all I really want is an apology.. but did I get that? No.. im actually being judged pa nga lalo.. I don’t know the bad stuff she’s saying about me.. haha.. bad yan..

there was a part where most of my classmates got to share their pains.. wow.. I never thought that my classmates has a lot of problems din pala.. it doesn’t show kasi.. at school, were all just happy, always laughing, BROKEN (haha.. sira), and sometimes pervy pa.. hahaha.. I didn’t know that some of them have a lot of problems.. I discovered a lot about my friends.. they're STRONG PERSONS.. ;).. and that part helped us understand one another better..

this is the fun part.. super fun part.. we were all asked to pass our papers around and write good things about everyone.. I didn’t know that im appreciated pala that much.. and that the little things like smiles, jokes (haha.. kahit corny) and mga non sense kwento matter.. and that there are a lot of good things about me pala that I didn’t know.. I mean.. imagine.. after 15 years of my life.. I found out MABAIT pala ako.. hahaha.. I felt special.. same with my classmates.. we all felt special.. it felt GOOD knowing that you are loved by your classmates.. it feels SO GoooOoD to be loved
REALLY GOOD

aaww.. I LOVE YOU GUYS..:)

REALITY BITES..;p.. and I live in a reality where it doesn’t bite that much and when it does.. it doesn’t hurt much either..;)